Friday, June 04, 2010

Tools of tirade


Dildo by Pants


A friend and I were today discussing a mutual acquaintance who is a public wanker. All very amusing for us except that this person has reached the middle rungs of artistic credibility, albeit in a minor context, in this country. We're not talking Geldof or Jordan. It's nothing like national disgrace on that level. I guess what I don't fancy about it is to be hit with the undeniable proof that a potent mix of charlatanism and self-belief is really enough to sustain a career in the face of the glaring absence of any other quality, even passable looks. The question is - is it self-delusion if enough people believe you?

It's a talent in itself to be able to market 'you' as some kind of product. Fine for the purchaser who perhaps likes to collect holograms. Better still for the conjurer whose one trick is his own pony and you happen to love pony holograms. Is this where we are as a human race? Dreams are trumps? There is no such thing as unreasonable expectations, not in the age of SuBo? Is this what fifth-generation Disney looks like?

Most of the cannabees who luck their way into their dream job with a heady combination of chutzpah and bullshit haven't thought far enough ahead to wonder what they'll do when something goes wrong that their glaring lack of skills and experience can't cover. Why should they? It's all about the ride. In a crisis they will most likely opt to call in a smoke'n'mirrors consultant in preference to carrying out a skills-and-experience audit on themselves.

The rest of us have to accommodate this horrifyingly increasing volume of incompetents who are in charge of everything and the exponentially grotesque expense that results. Think about Barack Obama whose Presidency could be derailed by the BP oil disaster in the Mexican Gulf. Even his own daughter thinks it is his responsibility to deal with it rather than the faceless CEO getting unthinkable multiples of a Presidential salary to shift his attention to shareholder dividend payments. So what do the rest of us do while these self-imagined entrepreneurs who seem to be running everything are winging their way through our sovereign security? Pray?

Most of us don't want our opportunities for a decent shot at training and mentorship to be reduced to reality TV or nothing. I'm worried for Niece Pants that her life expectations are being framed by the KO/popular vote mentality. I'm worried that her choices might not only be influenced by but limited to the face-fit, aps-oriented selection process that could dictate occupations in the future. I'm worried that she might be statutorily required to 'live her best life' according to some bought-in Oprah™ template.

None of my Dystopian projections are in the gift of the mutual acquaintance cited in Para 1. Thank fuck for small mercies. But they are certainly within the power of the frighteningly few corporate monopolists who are moving to secure control of food, energy and water supplies and domination of information and media. Our delusional friend and many like him might easily be their puppets because they have willingly put themselves up for sale, as if human liberty didn't mean a...

Barney! Will you shut the fuck up man, I'm saving the world from itself here... Oh, well in that case, you may lay out my G&T, I'll be there in two tics.

Sorry, I have to go now. You won't believe the smells that are coming from my kitchen...