Thursday, January 17, 2008

The gift horse bolts

I've been sick for nearly a week. Plenty of people told me not to eat the salad so I have only myself to blame. There is only so much masala dosai a person can eat. I know everyone gets sick in India but what I didn't expect is to be put entirely off food. I also didn't expect that I would want to sleep all the time. Since there are at least four hours in the day when the rest of the group is eating and a further four hours when we are travelling, I'm getting a lot of sleep in. We've also managed the odd bit of sightseeing.

Quite a bit of my time is spent in internet cafes wiping viruses of my memory card that it picked up at the last place. At this point, it is difficult to discern who is carrying more maladies, me or my memory card. I could probably snatch a few winks waiting for these ancient machines to load if I put my mind to it.

I went to one lovely internet cafe in Malappuram with air conditioning and clouds painted on the ceiling. A nice young man cleared my memory card of lurgies and while he was doing so, I read this sign on the wall,

Do not try to sniff the network otherwise police action will be taking.

They run a tight ship in there.

I've come across surprisingly few funny signs and believe me, I have been looking hard for them. It would make my job so much easier if someone else was providing the humour.

It's probably not the best time to discover it, but I don't really think I'm all that suited to group travel. I'm staggered at how willing a group of adults can be to join in a game of I Spy. For me the terror of the past two weeks has been Secret Santa - in January, excuse me. Can someone please explain to me why buying a gratuitous piece of tat for someone you don't know and will never see again doesn't smack of a pointlessness to rival the existence of Jade Goody to everyone but me? When the idea was first proposed by our 'group leader' I protested, thinking that would stop the insanity in its tracks. I had severely underestimated the capacity of my fellow travellers for indulging in inane amusement. As luck would have it, I received a very charming heavy woollen shawl that doubles the weight of my backpack. Serves me right for being such a killjoy. I gave my recipient money. Hopefully she will buy something she actually wants and can carry.

The southern part of my trip is over and tomorrow I fly to Delhi. I hope I get over this nausea by then otherwise I suspect I will find myself well and truly plucked...


d said...

The food in the north is far better- although rather rich and spicy- you probably like your food bland i'd reckon.

Reading the Signs said...

Nothing is fun where you're feeling sick, Pants - especially Secret Santa in January. You still manage to be funny, though. I hope things get better for you in Delhi.

trousers said...

Hope you're feeling better, apart from hearing about your maladies it's wonderful to follow your travels.

I love the sign in the internet cafe. It brought to mind, albeit tangentially, watching the subtitles on a football press conference this afternoon on the tv. "First of all a few words from our German*.......and now, it gives me great pressure to welcome Kevin Keegan back to Newcastle United!"


R.H. said...

What's that building, a casino?

When you come here I'm taking you to the Spottiswoode pub, Taj Mahal of the western suburbs.

Dame Honoria Glossop said...

Hope the digestifs settle soon, Pants.

Really glad you've been able to keep posting. Enjoy your travels.

JahTeh said...

You just said the magic words that keep me home, sick and group travel. I hope you're better soon and the food is hot as in straight from the oven hot.

Ann O'Dyne said...

Don't pluck the flower
(isn't that Liz Hurley's place?)and don't eat the salad ... or anything else really.
The sooner you are here, the better my dear.
mwah mwah

phil said...

When they want to do the Hokey Pokey or Cokey or whatever variant it is, you'll know you're close to rock bottom.

Beware - any enjoy India as much as you can.

That's So Pants said...

Hi everyone

Thanks - feeling a lot better. Am in Delhi now and most taken with it. Will post soon - post Taj Mahal.



Minx said...

No sniffing in Delhi.

That's So Pants said...

You can do Minxie but it's really not advisable.



NMJ said...

Hey Pants, Glad the nausea has gone, it can ruin everything... it's great fun to be hearing about your travels, & well done for surviving the Secret Santa! And, yes - please do not be sniffing any networks! x