Thursday, May 24, 2007

Elegantly Dressed Wednesdaisy

I know, I know. Don’t even think about tapping out a comment telling me how lame that title is. I will delete that comment. I WILL. This is what I’m like back under the kosh of work. Not that it’s bad. Actually it’s good – the work I mean. It’s just the regimentation of waking up at seven, eating a breakfast comprising fruit, yoghurt and psyllium husks fibre (don’t even…), getting to the station by 8.01 in order to have a meaningful conversation with wonderful John – today he handed me my Metro in a plastic bag – he must have saved it - bless. I missed the 8.06 because I was trying to print out the four pages of my new novel that I have set myself to do each evening after my run, but am too knackered after completing said run to even press ctrl p, and Mr Windows happened to decide that 7.15 this morning was the optimum time to upend a shitload of updates that will make my computer run even slower. Arrrgghhh.

Okay. I seriously need to start this again – after tea which is, incidentally – two modest gin and tonics and a glass of the sort of wine of which I could only have dreamed last week. As an afterthought I might consume a modicum of whatever Abel & Cole, whom I still adore despite the fact that this is the second week of the official British asparagus season in which they have failed to deliver asparagus. There must be a good, if not great, reason. Anytime you want to clue me in guys... Please consider the one tiny portion of Jerusalem artichokes that came my way this year ended up being passed on to a friend because I was having my near death experience in the Homerton Hospital at the time. You guys owe me.

This is SO NOT elegant, sorry. Take two. Here are some lovely daisies which I snapped on the Kodak yesterday morning when I wasn’t quite so flustered. I’ve just remembered that Ad tagged me to reveal seven ‘surprising’ things about myself. That sounds like a young persons’ game – bah humbug. Well, you’ve got to either rally to the challenge, or accept that you’re ill-humoured by nature – perish the sell-by date of that thought. So,

1. I truly believe that if I eat the Shaper’s option of the Boots meal deal for the entire six weeks of my contracted employment, I will lose the two stone required to make me look human again.

2. I further believe that if I amble around Hackney Marshes every day after completing said employment at a pace at which even hedgehogs would consider calling 999, that will help shed the requisite two stones required to re-enter the human race.

3. I can’t actually count to seven.

3.1 I don't do rules.

Done and dusted as we say here in Hackney – with the caveat that we neither do nor dust without good reason – has mother booked a visit? No – then stand down Mr Sheen.

I hope your Wednesdaisy was as pleasant as mine…


Reading the Signs said...

Pants, do you remember the quizzes that used to be in magazines like Petticoat and Honey? Or maybe you didn't have them in Australia - they were for teenage girls and full of things like: list your five/seven/ten most surprising/secret/romantic etc. whatever. It was just for girls, though, I don't think boys would have done it. Nice to see everyone's at it now, though I've never been tagged with one of these (it's fine, it's fine) - I think you acquitted yourself admirably. Keep us informed about the Shapers and G&T regime because (synchronicity is rampant in my life at present) I too wish to lose two stone, though not so much in order to re-enter the human race.

Very glad to hear the work is ok - you said something about Civil Service (?) so am wondering if it's Top Secret 007 sort of work, but I won't ask about it, nor about the psyllium (no, really. Husks?.

So you are still novelling. Good.

That's so pants said...

Hi Signs

When I was a kid I read a music magazine called Go-Set - the nearest equivalent would probably be Smash Hits. Then I got a holiday/Saturday job in a music shop where we got NME, Melody Maker, Billboard and my beloved Rolling Stone - that USED to be a great magazine. For years I was addicted to the NME crossword. Re diet - I would settle for re-entering some of my skirts and trousers. Re work - I wish. No, there's an element of intrigue though - trying to work out what on earth central govt means. Since Head Girl become local govt minister, their pronouncements are even more nonsensical than they were last year with Mild'n'bland at the helm.

Earthpal said...

Hi Pants.

That's a lovely daisy snap up there. I just love wild and randomly growing free flowers rather than rows and rows of perfect neatness and order.

As for the dusting....absolutely. "Dull women have immaculate homes" is my housework ethos.

Quink said...

Ha ha - great idea.

Reading the Signs said...

Are you telling me you completely by-passed the silly age? I can see you've been cool your whole life - or just really into music. I was too, but in a Monkees kind of way. Anyway, what am I blethering about? Have a nice day.

nmj said...

Hey Pants, those are lovely daisies. Ah, Mr Windows will contrive to ruin your life and waste your time whenever possible. Your devotion to your novel is bloody admirable when you have commuting & going for runs to fit in too.

That's so pants said...

Hi Earthpal

One of my favourite things about Hackney is the wildness of the flowers. I must do some more photos before the blossoms all disappear. The hawthorn is particularly spectacular at the moment. Unfortunately I missed some lovely wisteria, but those are the breaks.

You cannot imagine how much it pained me to keep my flat clean and tidy for the month that it was on the market. I could never find anything either. I learned it is not a particularly good idea to shove ugly items in the washing machine and oven - they get much uglier that way.

Hi Quinkie

I am very good at ideas - unfortunately not the type people pay for though.

Hi Signs

Not at all. I was very into fashion but I designed and made all my clothes myself (see this is why I'm a big fan of Tracey Emin - I am into sewing in a big way). I was probably not as silly as most adolescents because I was very into the arts and also studying. I was, and am, a loner basically.

Having said that - my sister and I went to see The Monkees at Sydney Stadium when we were very young. We weren't going to be allowed to go because the concerts were at night (I obviously cried for days), and then they put on a matinee and my Dad somehow got hold of tickets. We were in the fourth or fifth row and my sister caught a comb that Peter Tork threw into the audience. It was magic.

My really silly era was later with the whole indy band thing - we weren't punks but I did do the whole very short hair and ski pants thing. I'm not very good at getting things in the right order.


I really am very pleased with myself as all week I've gotten to work by 8.30 and had a leisurely cappuccino and gone for a run when I got home. The four pages a day isn't as grueling as it sounds as I am on draft four. Although I retype rather than cut and paste, I am reasonably sure of what I want to change, and I am a super fast typist (positive legacy of having trained as a journalist in the typewriter days - I only wish I could remember shorthand). I am past the halfway mark and you know how much quicker it goes after that.

Ms Baroque said...

I thought they were supposed to be surprising things.

I liked your title. But then I would.

Glad the job's okay & we look forward to updates!

That's so pants said...

Hi Ms Baroque

Surprising things - therein lies the difficulty. One tends not to do surprising things because one tends to know in advance what one is about to do so it's therefore not a surprise. The problem for me is to try and second guess what others might find surprising. Why would I want to do that?

Ad said...

Ah the routine of earning a crust...


That's so pants said...

Hi Ad

You're not mad at me for screwing up the task then... that's good. Give me another.

Janejill said...

Tsp -such a nice title , really, though very difficult to say - but what does that matter? Hands up those who know what psyllum husks do - they say Guiness works the same magic)(?) I have never had a 'modest' drink at home, or, put another way, I was always very surprised when a half bottle of vodka only lasted for six glasses (Not in one evening of course)
Noone ever asks me to do tags - I must be the greatest saddest loner there ever was, but if I were ever asked,(sob) I would have to say that I hate Shapers more than any other 'slimmers' sandwich ever made; but I love M and S choc mousse - 80 cals per pot

Janejill said...

I'm on a roll.... in fact, talking about being a loner,(or perhaps just very odd) I was possibly the only girl who sat through a Beatles concert (in Blackpool) without screaming once; I even had to sit on my sister to calm her down

That's so pants said...

Hi Jane Jill

You can't imagine how envious I am of you over there in Grenada. I hope your sister survived the ordeal of the Beatles concert. I'm guessing you were not her first choice for someone to sit on her... Still it's a nice memory to have. Guinness certainly seems like a more pleasant alternative to psyllium husk but wouldn't it curdle the yoghurt? I'm just getting the salad - tuna nicoise is 153 calories. That doesn't seem like a lot.

Janejill said...

Like the idea of the nicoise bit - I had a cafe for a while and used to do fresh tuna nicoise - think the olives were about 150 calories alone - the start of my demise I think.. Ah I am back from Grenada - two weeks and just a mini visit to Ireland since. The boat is up for sale so I will have to find other things to do with my life - a job might do the trick.

Bwca said...

I wish I had the words to convey how much I enjoyed reading all of that.
thanks to all.

dear readingthesigns: We had Honey and Petticoat in Australia in the late 60's, and my favourite was RAVE magazine with great line drawings of DollyBirds in Barbara Hulanicki clothes.
We used to pore over the gig ads in NME and wish we lived in london where we assumed we would be out every night in Wardour St Clubs like The Marquee seeing The Pretty Things and looking fabulously hip.
Ha Hahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

What a Great Moment In History that Pants saw The Monkees at Sydney Stadium. It was demolished and became The Rushcutter Bowl, when really it should have been Heritage-Listed and had a statue of Lee gordon out the front. *sigh*

That's so pants said...

Hi bwca

Yes. It was a wonderful day. I still remember what I was wearing...