Customer service advisor. That would be someone who, if you are very lucky you’ve reached on the phone after completing a PhD thesis in number punching. Someone who doesn’t speak your language and knows nothing of the service about which you wish to engage them in cheery banter. The only foolproof way to avoid having to deal with these offshore viral bugs in the house of happiness, is to not buy anything. Having made virtually no money this year and indulging in an obscene number of holidays, I find non-consumerism both refreshing and inescapable.
Fantasies of a deserted island with no bureaucracy, utilities or communications (but, strangely, high speed broadband – surely it’s possible in this day and age), will be realised one day. However, in the meantime and in this climate I cannot do without electricity and gas.